I dug this out from the back of my closet the other day.
It's a vest I made in my earliest days of learning to weave. The patchwork is from some of my beginner's samples (of which I recall very little, and that points back to record keeping!) At the time, I was excited to be learning to weave and pleased to have done something with my very own handwoven fabric. I wore it to the next weaver's guild meeting (of which I was a new member). No one paid attention, until a small group of the guild's matriarchs approached and one asked,
"Did you make that?""Yes!" I said, pleased that someone noticed.
Nothing else was said, but the group exchanged glances before turning away and
walking off. No one else at the meeting mentioned it, and I never wore that
vest again.
The irony is that one of that guild's stated goals was to attract a new
generation of folk to weaving.
The vest came to mind when I was updating
my fiber gallery. I recalled the above incident and wondered, is there something I can do to
make it look more polished? Maybe quilt the patches? Maybe add some fancy
clasps? So, I pulled it out and tried it on. No, it isn't designer
quality and a more experienced sewer would certainly have done a better job.
But looking at it again after all those years, I honestly didn't think it was
bad as I feared. I decided I'm going to start wearing it.
We all start at the same place when we learn something new - the beginning.
And I'm guessing that most of us worry about criticism about our learning
mistakes and struggles. The reactions of others can encourage us, or
discourage us. I can only speak to my own experiences, but because of them,
I've always wanted to encourage others.
My piano teacher taught me a lot more than how to play the piano. After I
played a piece for her, she always found something to compliment before she
went on to constructive criticism. That not only encouraged me, but made me so
much more open to what she had to say.
I'm not saying that I think it's my place is to teach or correct others. And I
don't mean to say something looks good when it doesn't. So maybe my vest
wasn't up to anyone's standards at that guild meeting. But if just one person
had said to me, "I love that you made something with your handwoven," I would
have been so grateful. And encouraged to keep on learning and trying to
improve my skills. And perhaps a little braver to share what I was
doing.
It's funny how little things can stir up thoughts and emotions from long past.
I reckon the best thing to do, is to not let them be an influence in the
future.
Encouraging Others © 2023
by Leigh at Leigh's Fiber Journal
8 comments:
I can't imagine why you got that reaction; I'd be thrilled to create something like that and would wear it proudly! I'm not much of a 'group joiner,' so maybe that helps. One on one is by far my preference!
Michelle, I have no idea either. I just figured it was really that bad, but now I'm not so sure.
I have to say that my joining days are pretty much over too. And that's really fine with me, considering how awkward social settings always feel.
I think the vest looks great! The story definitely shows the value of thinking before speaking-- it takes two seconds to say something that can leave a lifelong impact. I'm sure most people would rather have the impact of your piano teacher than the guild ladies.
CM, thanks! I agree with your assessment. It's sad because it costs nothing to be kind. It was a good life lesson for me, though.
Leigh, when I consider over my life the people that have encouraged my efforts even though they were often rather lame, I am both grateful - and a bit infuriated at the incident you describe. This is precisely why some organizations and traditions die; their standards are too high to accommodate the new learning curve of others.
One of the reasons I have stuck with Iaijutsu for these many years is both my Sensei and my Headmaster are encouraging people. They can always find something to praise one about.
TB, I appreciate that. In general, it seems there is often a gap between an organization's or companies' stated goals and what they actually do. I think most of the time, it has to do with the people. It's people who can make a difficult situation tolerable, or make a pleasant situation intolerable. I suppose it has something to do with individual personalities and group dynamic. Plus, the occasional bossy person who just love to run the show.
Like my piano teacher, my weaving teacher was a wonderfully encouraging person. I wasn't able to stick with music, but weaving became a favorite creative outlet, I believe, thanks to the encouragement I received in those early years. I'm glad you have things you can stick with too.
Wow,that was harsh! I think the vest looks great. The color placement is eye catching and harmonious.
I think the actions of those ladies says a lot more about their little coven than it said about your vest or you.
In my weaving group, which is more of a study group than a guild, the usual approach is "Tell us about your....." whatever they might be wearing or have with them. It's an invitation to share a what they find important about what they have made (or sometimes purchased from another weaver)
Valerie, thank you! I think you're right about that particular group of ladies. They went way back with the guild and would sometimes work as a group to influence guild decisions. I like the way your weaving group does it. That's an excellent approach for so many things.
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